Entry One

For a long time I have lived two lives.

In one I’m an independent financial consultant.

I have an assistant who works from her home and I rent an office in a building not far from my mine for when I need to see clients.

Those who employ me are an international bunch of individuals and I have traveled over the years to almost every big city in every country on this planet.

I’ve never been married and I have no children. Sometimes I can feel the questions about my life from others as heavy in the air as a swarm of bees.

Why isn’t she married?

Why didn’t she ever have children?

Who is she involved with?

Is she gay?

The last makes me laugh.

Irony is oh so sweet.

I live in an expensive condo that I own outright in New York City in a section of Manhattan where I constantly run into celebrity after celebrity, media moguls, financiers…the “high society” of society.

My friends know me as a deeply private woman who is generous with her time and money.

You probably already hate me.

Get used to it.


***


Over the years my life has been full and filled with laughter, tears and love…oh yes, I have been loved and I have loved.

The only difference between me and any other woman is who I love and who loves me.

It didn’t start out that way.

This journal is the only time I will ever tell my story and I will take this secret to my grave.

Not another soul on this planet knows. I’ve been very careful, very discrete.

It’s been worth it.


***


So…what’s the story, right?

And what secret do I have?

That’s just it.

I’m the secret.

Their secret.

And they are mine.

Isn’t share a lovely word?

Share.

To share.

Sharing.

I’ll be busy soon.

Busy in the best ways possible.

So…

Here’s what happened…


***


I’ve been their secret for years now, ever since they hit the big time with Slippery.

What?

You’re surprised?

Sure, you’ve heard of them.

Heard rumors.

But no facts.

No proof.

I told you I’ve been careful.

And I told you to get used to hating me.


***


We’re all in our 40’s now, but I’ve managed through exercise both in the gym and in the bedroom, to make sure I look as close as I can to the way they first met me.

Sure, the signs are there, I’m not a young girl anymore, but neither are they the young studs I first met in Vancouver.

It was to be a one-night stand at first.

I admit it when I’m honest with myself.

But after all these years, it’s become more, so much more.


***


They are the most heterosexual men I have ever met.

Actually they adore women.

All shapes.

All sizes…well, almost.

They love our hair.

Our eyes.

Our mouths.

Our breasts.

Our asses.

Our legs.

Our most secret places.

But they share something with me I know is all mine.

They share me.